In the 21^st century you can do anything you want to, you can find one hundred of variations on different things, even the ones which are truly unique, consequently inimitable. China and other empires of this type have already flooded us with tons of products often of poor quality and doubtful origin. Sometimes we even start wondering what their producers had in mind and whether we apply them according to their intended purpose.

Let’s try to imagine your life right now, in which instead of reaching for what’s dear and important for you, you decide to satisfy yourself with substitutes, which give you an ersatz of what you desire and of what you want to be and all these just for a short while. Even if you cannot call it an unmixed blessing, it still allows you to exist in a more or less comfortable way. But are you sure?

Let’s come back to the earlier mentioned Chinese substitutes. Let’s call a spade a spade! Despite the fact that we all know we cannot expect much from such products we still decide to buy them because of their price and the ease of access. And now we should try to transfer these substitutes to different spheres of our life. Do we really want to build on such a nondurable and doubtful quality ground? Of course, we don’t… so why do we really agree on that?

Now, I’ll try to explain this issue on my own case. Resignation from substitutes isn’t easy, but each morning it allows me to proudly look at myself in the mirror and it allows me to go to sleep knowing that the best is yet to come.

A single at all costs.

Having reached my magical thirties a few years ago, made me enter the minefield. The quicksand is just lurking for the moment of my distraction to make me sink into its depths, fine and what’s after that? It’s still a mystery for me. Anyway, I keep hearing different comments on my spinsterhood like aunt asking when I finally find this romeo or a friend saying it’s the right time to start worrying about my future or a colleague who thinks it would be good for me to get pregnant if I cannot count on anything more. I could really multiple such words of concern on and on. When you reach your thirties your biological clock starts ticking, tick tock tick tock, just as if my organism was to explode here and now, because of all this time pressure. Interestingly, almost no one focuses on the things I have done well, a way more important issue is related to my spinsterhood resembling a ravenous death with its freshly sharpened scythe. I believe that only when calm we can stay in control. I’m not ideal, but I can learn from my own mistakes, and what I had learned before reaching my thirties is that if you force yourself to anything it won’t bring you any good. After getting more aware of my strengths and weaknesses and of the things I truly expect from the surrounding me word, I realized that it’s not worth compromising too much only because your age points that you should start hurrying up. Any time when I did something without conviction, with some doubt related to the rightness of the decision I took, it turned out that all in all the end was one. And the conclusion could be easily derived that it’s better to listen to my intuition. What I’m getting at is that it’s worth looking for the values in another person, the ones which agree with your own values. Of course, if you plan long-lasting relationships. Otherwise, the Chinese substitutes will start crumbling quite fast, and you will finally come to a conclusion that you lost your time and you don’t really know what to do with this lemon. I’ve recently told someone that it’s not worth satisfying oneself with a chocolaty product when you’ve got milk chocolate at your fingertips. While dealing with a cheap substitute, you can miss what’s really valuable and worthy of attention.

As stubborn as a mule

Out of not many good things I could be proud of myself, one paradoxically most valuable is my stubbornness. How stubbornness may turn out to be a virtue? I’m just trying to act according to my beliefs and according to my own conscience. Maybe sometimes I don’t get much popularity because of this feature of my character, as after all everyone can be changed and everyone can be persuaded into doing something. We should remember about the fact that everyone has one’s own catalog of values and of things one assumes to be right. I’m talking about moral stand and attitudes which rule our lives. Let’s imagine that there’s a catalog with the best mattresses in the world just in front of you, thanks to which you’ll have a good and comfortable life, but to get them you’ll often have to make difficult decisions to stay who you really are and not the way others around would like to see you. And then, suddenly, just at your doorstep, appears a cheap brochure with shabby looking mattresses or at least something that resembles them well. You can have them at hand as they are ridiculously cheap, but to get them you need to do something that is against your beliefs and the way you would like to act in your life. Getting things in such a way is certainly easier, but will they stay in our life for good? We can transfer these issues to our everyday lives, gaining popularity among a group of people we are interested in by doing wrong things or being promoted by playing a filthy trick on your colleagues or getting some extra money by going through your unaware neighbor’s pockets. Is it really worth gaining all these things in such a way? I think it isn’t. Well, what goes around, comes around. You will keep awaiting your fate to trick you in the least expected moment of your life. Here, I’d also like to advocate the rule that less doesn’t mean worse, just on the contrary, it’s longer lasting. It’s better to get a square of milk chocolate than a bar of its substitute. Don’t you think so?

A close circle of good friends.

I have never been good at maintaining friendships, not because I didn’t want to maintain them, but because I often forgot about people. For a few years I’ve been relying on a carefully chosen group of friends and I’m not talking about a sect, but about people who are valuable and trustworthy. People who can bring something good into my life and who I can derive my inspirations from. These are friends who I care for and for whom I am able to do more than usual. Why? I think you already know the answer, substitutes are cheap and easily available, but won’t serve you long. A good friendship is like wine, every year it tastes better. You can always accompany it with… you probably already know with what… yes, with milk chocolate.

I hope that you’ve managed to understand at least something out of my long writing on the topic of cheap Chinese substitutes and milk chocolate. I also hope that you’ll derive something good for yourself out of this text. Always try to reach more for yourself, it doesn’t really mean that you are fussy. You simply know that you’re looking for and you know how you want to act in your life. We could compare such an attitude to consistent actions without which it will be difficult for you to find happiness in your life.

See you around!

Yours,

Passion Piece

Photos by Jordane Mathieu, Melvina Mak, NON, Malvestida Magazine on Unsplash