Attention! It’s not the next psychological – educational – eye-opening – something post! No! Have you ever been thinking of the reasons why others’ lives go like a clockwork while you’ve failed again? Why other people’s lives are so interesting while yours is a slippery slope? One could quote the lyrics of a well-known song: ‘It didn’t work out in my life again …’* … but is it really worth? Do you think you’re quite intelligent, but still there’s something wrong with you? Listen … there may be several reasons for this state of affairs!
1.Family background you’re brought up in.
Have you ever noticed an enormous influence of family background on the development of kids, and later on adult individuals? How profoundly influenced we are, first by our parents, then by our friends? What if there’s lack of positive models and encouraging words? For sure, you’ve just come up with some questions: ‘Was I brought up in a dysfunctional family background? Was something wrong with my family and my close ones?’ Well … not necessarily! Sometimes our needs aren’t transparent to others, especially if we take into account the blistering pace of our lives. We should also remember, that we aren’t the only ones who face some problems, and our silent calls for help may not be properly understood. Hence, dear parents praise your children if they deserve it, appreciate even the least significant successes of your kids! Those seemingly banal encouraging words have an invaluable impact first on the child’s self-esteem, and then on the adult individual’s attitude towards life. You should teach your kids how to be resourceful. Show them how passion can make their lives beautiful and valuable. I don’t really want to say that criticism and punishment aren’t needed at all … in fact they are! However, they must always be constructive and related only to a specific misconduct or fault, not to a child and then an adult as such! If we think of our friends, they’re no longer a constant value, like our family. Friends come and go away, leaving various marks on our lives. Try to teach your kids what values they should pay attention to while choosing their friends, as it may certainly help them in their future lives. Lucky the ones who have found friends through thick and thin!
And now you start thinking, wait … moment … stop! We all know famous people, who despite terrible family backgrounds, gained success thanks to their passions and talents. Indeed … however, family background we were brought up in, is only one of possible factors, which can have a serious impact on our inhibitions while chasing our dreams.
2.Lack of resistance to criticism and our self-esteem.
Since the dawn of time, humans have been criticizing everything and everyone, whether it’s done for entertainment or just because of our powerlessness is of no bigger importance. Just to blow somebody away! Have you ever been thinking of the consequences of such a behavior? How a negative influence can our barbed words have on other people’s lives? How our negative comments can have a tragic impact on our close ones’ lives or on the lives of totally random people? If we really take care of others, and we really can’t resist expressing our opinions … and for sure it’s sometimes really needed … we should be honest, however we should also choose our words carefully, so that our intentions are positively understood. It’s easy to say: ‘You’re stupid! You’re wearing terrible clothes’, maybe it would be better to say: ‘You are a good and valuable person, but you should work on …’. We should also remember that everyone is different and everyone sees the world in a different way. Such comments are like water off duck’s back to some of you, while others may go into their shells after being criticized. It’s obvious there are people who have high self-esteem without any qualifications, even though it’s quite puzzling at times. But how can we help those people, who by the looks of things, are equipped with everything what’s needed to build their high self-esteem, and instead of being self-confident they keep fighting with their inner demons of low self-esteem? We should remember about that while criticizing others! And one comment for those of you who have problems with self-esteem … you should be selective, not everything you hear is worth remembering for years! Don’t compare yourself with others … because you will never be them, you will always be yourself and only yourself! Try to look for your assets and eliminate your weaknesses.
3.Personality as the key to success.
Besides having high or low self-esteem, our personality plays a vital role in chasing our dreams. People who are calm and shy by nature may have some problems with singing in front of a huge audience. While those who can be characterized as sociable and competitive treat it only as the next challenge in their lives. No one can deprive us of our dreams, but maybe you should choose the smaller ones for a good start? The ones which can be easily reached? Maybe you should start with the dreams which are yours, and not with the ones, which are just too high expectations towards you imposed by others ?
4.Having too high expectations.
While looking for passion in our lives, we shouldn’t bite more than we can chew! I don’t really want to say that we shouldn’t be ambitious. Ambition leads us to success and it’s an undisputed fact. However, it’s much easier to get discouraged while falling down of skyscraper, rather than while tripping over one of the stones on our path. We should start with easier things, which make us happy, to proceed with time to something we will devote ourselves to for good. Can we compare collecting magnets with running a successful business? Of course we can’t. However, if collecting magnets makes us happy, why shouldn’t we do that? We should do whatever we love and we shouldn’t let others make us crazy!
I bet all of you know those common sayings: ‘I’ll start my diet tomorrow!’; ‘I’ll quit smoking on Monday!’; ‘I’ll change my life next month!’. Listen … my advice can be only one! Talk less, do more. What does it mean? If you want your dreams to come true, you should start acting today! Don’t look for any excuses … tomorrow may never come! Life is definitely too short, there’s no time like the present!
Negative thinking has an unimaginable influence on our attitude towards life and ourselves as such. That’s why, even if you don’t really have too many reasons to be optimistic towards life now … do your best and start the day with the thought: ‘I can achieve everything!’.
7.Current life situation.
It’s quite common that our current life situation influences our decisions to table our dreams for later. Once it’s job and kids, the other time it’s our sick parents … how can we find the time to develop our passions? Remember, all these things are important, but however you look at these matters, you can never forget about yourself. Who knows better than you what your needs are? Who knows better than you what dreams and passions you want to come true? If your current life situation doesn’t allow you to do anything crazy, do something for yourself at little cost! Running in the park doesn’t cost anything and makes us strong and energetic. Drawing is relaxing and what’s the most important you don’t have to leave and neglect your daily duties. Seek and ye shall find, let it be our motto for today!
In this entry, I tried to bring up only some of the possible reasons which can influence our attitude towards chasing our dreams. I hope that a few of my comments will be useful for you, my dear readers!
See you around!