Attention! It’s not the next psychological – educational – eye-opening – something post! No! Have you ever been thinking of the reasons why others’ lives go like a clockwork while you’ve failed again? Why other people’s lives are so interesting while yours is a slippery slope? One could quote the lyrics of a well-known song: ‘It didn’t work out in my life again …’* … but is it really worth? Do you think you’re quite intelligent, but still there’s something wrong with you? Listen … there may be several reasons for this state of affairs!
1.Family background you’re brought up in.
Have you ever noticed an enormous influence of family background on the development of kids, and later on adult individuals? How profoundly influenced we are, first by our parents, then by our friends? What if there’s lack of positive models and encouraging words? For sure, you’ve just come up with some questions: ‘Was I brought up in a dysfunctional family background? Was something wrong with my family and my close ones?’ Well … not necessarily! Sometimes our needs aren’t transparent to others, especially if we take into account the blistering pace of our lives. We should also remember, that we aren’t the only ones who face some problems, and our silent calls for help may not be properly understood. Hence, dear parents praise your children if they deserve it, appreciate even the least significant successes of your kids! Those seemingly banal encouraging words have an invaluable impact first on the child’s self-esteem, and then on the adult individual’s attitude towards life. You should teach your kids how to be resourceful. Show them how passion can make their lives beautiful and valuable. I don’t really want to say that criticism and punishment aren’t needed at all … in fact they are! However, they must always be constructive and related only to a specific misconduct or fault, not to a child and then an adult as such! If we think of our friends, they’re no longer a constant value, like our family. Friends come and go away, leaving various marks on our lives. Try to teach your kids what values they should pay attention to while choosing their friends, as it may certainly help them in their future lives. Lucky the ones who have found friends through thick and thin!
And now you start thinking, wait … moment … stop! We all know famous people, who despite terrible family backgrounds, gained success thanks to their passions and talents. Indeed … however, family background we were brought up in, is only one of possible factors, which can have a serious impact on our inhibitions while chasing our dreams.
2.Lack of resistance to criticism and our self-esteem.
Since the dawn of time, humans have been criticizing everything and everyone, whether it’s done for entertainment or just because of our powerlessness is of no bigger importance. Just to blow somebody away! Have you ever been thinking of the consequences of such a behavior? How a negative influence can our barbed words have on other people’s lives? How our negative comments can have a tragic impact on our close ones’ lives or on the lives of totally random people? If we really take care of others, and we really can’t resist expressing our opinions … and for sure it’s sometimes really needed … we should be honest, however we should also choose our words carefully, so that our intentions are positively understood. It’s easy to say: ‘You’re stupid! You’re wearing terrible clothes’, maybe it would be better to say: ‘You are a good and valuable person, but you should work on …’. We should also remember that everyone is different and everyone sees the world in a different way. Such comments are like water off duck’s back to some of you, while others may go into their shells after being criticized. It’s obvious there are people who have high self-esteem without any qualifications, even though it’s quite puzzling at times. But how can we help those people, who by the looks of things, are equipped with everything what’s needed to build their high self-esteem, and instead of being self-confident they keep fighting with their inner demons of low self-esteem? We should remember about that while criticizing others! And one comment for those of you who have problems with self-esteem … you should be selective, not everything you hear is worth remembering for years! Don’t compare yourself with others … because you will never be them, you will always be yourself and only yourself! Try to look for your assets and eliminate your weaknesses.
3.Personality as the key to success.
Besides having high or low self-esteem, our personality plays a vital role in chasing our dreams. People who are calm and shy by nature may have some problems with singing in front of a huge audience. While those who can be characterized as sociable and competitive treat it only as the next challenge in their lives. No one can deprive us of our dreams, but maybe you should choose the smaller ones for a good start? The ones which can be easily reached? Maybe you should start with the dreams which are yours, and not with the ones, which are just too high expectations towards you imposed by others ?
4.Having too high expectations.
While looking for passion in our lives, we shouldn’t bite more than we can chew! I don’t really want to say that we shouldn’t be ambitious. Ambition leads us to success and it’s an undisputed fact. However, it’s much easier to get discouraged while falling down of skyscraper, rather than while tripping over one of the stones on our path. We should start with easier things, which make us happy, to proceed with time to something we will devote ourselves to for good. Can we compare collecting magnets with running a successful business? Of course we can’t. However, if collecting magnets makes us happy, why shouldn’t we do that? We should do whatever we love and we shouldn’t let others make us crazy!
I bet all of you know those common sayings: ‘I’ll start my diet tomorrow!’; ‘I’ll quit smoking on Monday!’; ‘I’ll change my life next month!’. Listen … my advice can be only one! Talk less, do more. What does it mean? If you want your dreams to come true, you should start acting today! Don’t look for any excuses … tomorrow may never come! Life is definitely too short, there’s no time like the present!
Negative thinking has an unimaginable influence on our attitude towards life and ourselves as such. That’s why, even if you don’t really have too many reasons to be optimistic towards life now … do your best and start the day with the thought: ‘I can achieve everything!’.
7.Current life situation.
It’s quite common that our current life situation influences our decisions to table our dreams for later. Once it’s job and kids, the other time it’s our sick parents … how can we find the time to develop our passions? Remember, all these things are important, but however you look at these matters, you can never forget about yourself. Who knows better than you what your needs are? Who knows better than you what dreams and passions you want to come true? If your current life situation doesn’t allow you to do anything crazy, do something for yourself at little cost! Running in the park doesn’t cost anything and makes us strong and energetic. Drawing is relaxing and what’s the most important you don’t have to leave and neglect your daily duties. Seek and ye shall find, let it be our motto for today!
In this entry, I tried to bring up only some of the possible reasons which can influence our attitude towards chasing our dreams. I hope that a few of my comments will be useful for you, my dear readers!
See you around!
Photo by Tom Pumford on Unsplash
Comments: 40 replies added
Świetny wpis, zgadzam się z wieloma kwestiami które poruszyłaś. Niestety życie lubi nas zaskakiwać i czasami ciężko jest trzymać się założonego planu. Zapraszam na mojego bloga na którym poruszam kwestie zmiany pracy oraz daje kilka cennych wskazówek jak napisać swoje CV. http://www.czarnykolor.pl/ Pozdrawiam, Łukasz
Dzięki za miłe słowa :) Na pewno odwiedzę twojego bloga, bo jego tematyka jest dla mnie w chwili obecnej bardzo interesująca :) Pozdrawiam :)
I totally resonate with every single point. I think we are brought up to think we can't make our dreams come true because our family members have failed to. I think family and education pays a big role in our mental programming and sometimes, though well intended, our parents/partner tend to discourage us more than encourage.
You're totally right! <3 Sometimes people 'make' us the way we are, but the best thing is to overcome that and start living our own lives the way we always wanted to! About partners ... I've experienced that, too! That's why, now I'll appreciate someone who will also be my own motivation and who will enrich me as a person:)
Idealnie ujęłaś sedno problemu i wymieniłaś niemal wszystkie czynniki mające wpływ na tego typu stan. Z własnego doświadczenia wiem, że niektóre wspomniane kwestie mają ogromny wpływ na realizację marzeń. Natomiast ja zmieniłem nastawienie wobec wielu rzeczy i postanowiłem zmotywować się do robienia fajnych, pozytywnych rzeczy. Fantastyczny wpis! ;)
Zgadzam się w 100 %. Najważniejsze jest zidentyfikowanie problemu oraz praca nad własnym nastawieniem do pewnych kwestii :) Niektórym wprawdzie zajmie to troszkę więcej czasu niż innym, ale na pewno warto trochę popracować nad sobą :) Ja już zaczęłam powoli zmieniać swoje nastawienie ;)
Mądrze napisany post. Wiele czynników składa się na nasze nastawienie i sukces w przyszłość, jeśli będziemy motywowani to i odniesiemy sukcesy.
To prawda i warto o tym pamiętać! Motywacja i dobre słowo to podstawa sukcesu! :)
Mądrze napisany post. Wiele czynników składa się na nasze nastawienie i sukces w przyszłość, jeśli będziemy motywowani to i odniesiemy sukcesy.
Wpis genialny! Czytając twój wpis najblizej znane mi zjawisko to: 5.Słomiany zapał. Na pewno każdy z was zna powiedzenia: „Zacznę dietę od jutra!”; „Rzucę palenie od poniedziałku!”; „Zmienię soje życie w przyszłym miesiącu!”. Otóż moja rada jest jedna, mniej gadania więcej robienia. Co to znaczy? Jeżeli chcesz spełniać swoje marzenia zacznij już dziś! Nie szukaj wymówek … bo jutro może nigdy nie nadejść! Życie jest stanowczo za krótkie, dlatego co masz zrobić jutro, lepiej zrób dziś! Wiele rzeczy odkładam zamiast pozadnie się do nich przyłozyc i czerpać z nich korzyści!
Zgadza się :) Zazwyczaj wykorzystujemy tylko część naszego potencjału ... warto popracować nad naszą motywacją, tak aby jak to mówisz czerpać większe korzyści z tego, co jest nam ofiarowane przez los :)
It's so important to follow our dreams! I'm currently reading The Alchemist and it brings up a lot of the points you have mentioned, have you read it before?
I've heard about this book, but unfortunately I haven't had a chance to read it! I hope to check it out soon! :)
I completely agree with alot of this. We are so afraid of alot of things and this prevents us from chasing our dreams
Exactly, the most important thing is to get to know what prevents us from chasing our dreams :)
I definitely think fear of the unknown and comfort is a huge factor. I admire people that take risks.
I agree with you, my fear of the unknown and comfort hold me back for sure! I also look up to people who take risks. :)
Last year I decided I was going to make an effort to follow my dream to become a writer. I had been telling myself to start for over a decade, but I kept putting it off. After almost a year, I've made a little extra money, I feel so much better about myself, and I'm looking to push myself even further and start writing for some bigger publications. The only thing stopping me from doing this 10 years ago, was myself and my self-doubt. I just needed to get out of my own way.
I totally understand you. I'm also thinking about writing since I'd love to do something I really like for a living. That's great you started chasing your dreams. Who knows ... maybe now is the right time for you do be really successful in this field. I'd love to read some of your texts. :)
I think my biggest thing is I always get so down on myself....mostly due to some unrealistic expectations. I jump out of the gate and expect mega results. Thought provoking post!
Yes, we sometimes expect too much from ourselves and we are way more critical towards ourselves than towards other people. Thank you very much! :)
Słomiany zapał... w moim przypadku to typowy bloker w realizacji marzeń. Szybko się zapalam i szybko gasnę, dlatego muszę mieć zawsze jakiegoś "motywatora" :)
Mam taki sam problem, często dość szybko 'zapalam się' do pewnych projektów, ale równie szybko tracę zainteresowanie i często je porzucam. :)
Ciekawy wpis. Właśnie piszę na blogu i złamanych noworocznych postanowieniach, więc pasuje idealnie.
Jak najbardziej, często przyczynami naszych niezrealizowanych postanowień noworocznych są właśnie te punkty, o których wspomniałam w artykule.
Często wydaje się, e mamy tak duo czasu na marzenia, e jeszcze wszystko zdołamy dokonać, podjąć się nowych wyzwań, a tak naprawdę czas tak szybko wymyka się naszym planom.
Zgadza się ... czasami również zbyt dużo marzę, a tak naprawdę najważniejsza jest realizacja naszych postanowień. :)
Wszystko to ma znaczenie. Ale chyba największe to zachowawczy tryb i nie podejmowanie ryzyka. To tez mój problem :(
To cała ja! Od zawsze obawiałam się podejmowania ryzyka ... i przynosiło to raczej opłakane skutki. :)
What a great post. These are all great reasons why we don't follow our dreams. I recently started blogging and would never of done so if I didn't stay positive instead of negative. I also didn't let my expectations be too high and surprisingly it turned out well.
I love your post. I am writing and talking about this topic a lot. My book will be about this also. There is no backround without a reason. we all have not the same chance with different people around us. Thank you for sharing
This post has struck a chord in me as someone who is passionate about telling other people to follow their dreams yet is scared to do the same for herself. Right now what's holding me back is my current life situation because I don't have a back up plan in case pursuing my passion doesn't go the way I envision it to be.
This was so thought provoking! A great read.
Great to hear that! <3
I think the most important thing is that you are brought up with self respect and self confidence - this helps you facing all the hard times you might have to endure.
Yes, self-respect and self-confidence are very important, I need to work on the latter one. :)
Lack of enthusiasm, negative thinking... these are indeed big hurdles to personal success. Very well elaborated points.
It requires lots of work to change one's attitude. I'm glad you enjoyed reading this article. :)
Alle unseren Träume haben die Chance, sich zu erfüllen. Das hängt einzig von uns selbst?
Nie mogłabym się z Tobą bardziej zgodzić! Ewelina, dzięki za komentarz! :)