Have you ever been wondering what makes a human being? Why do some people gain one success after another, while others can’t reach even half of the potential they’re given? What makes people differ so much from one another when it comes to approaching challenges and difficulties they face or the ways they decide to deal with them? These diverse attitudes are caused by a number of factors, but each individual is affected by such reasons of failures to a different extent.
1.Embrace the wounded inner child, which is still hidden inside you.
Our childhood and the way we were treated by surrounding us people have a huge and invaluable influence on our adult life. Were you praised and motivated to expand and take risks? Or maybe, just one the contrary, each your step was criticized or simply ignored, which in turn made you lose your faith in the fact that you can really do something good and valuable? If you experienced a traumatic incident during your childhood, which has had a negative impact on you in your adult life, you should come back to such an experience and look at it from a perspective of an adult person. That’s obvious that in a great number of cases we will come to a conclusion that the thing that happened to us wasn’t really that awful, but a fragile child’s psyche, which wasn’t fully developed at that time, reacted to a given trigger in this and not the other way. Of course, talking about traumatic experiences, I’m not only thinking about the ones which could be called a crime, but mainly about the ones, which to a greater or lesser extent, affected you negatively taking their toll even decades after the incident. It frequently happens that your close ones, acquaintances or teachers weren’t aware of the fact that their negative words said about you could have such an enormous influence on you in the future.
2.Love yourself and others.
Having dealt with traumatic experiences from your childhood, you’re able to look at yourself from a completely different angle. A big nose is no longer that big, and on the contrary, it’s an original feature of your face. Red hair is no longer the reason to be ashamed, but it adds you some unique character. I could enumerate lots of such examples. Everyone is unique and one of a kind, that’s why we should approach our strengths and weaknesses in such a way. Besides this, we should remember that our body undergoes continuous changes and nothing is given to us forever. Why should we worry too much about the next skin fold here and there if it has no influence on our health? Loving ourselves makes it easier to become open towards the world, make new contacts and love people around us. It really works well!
3.Avoid toxic relationships.
Remember that one of the main goals of our life is lifelong learning and expanding our skills. It happens that due to lack of self-confidence we surround ourselves with people who are not necessarily interested in being friends, but they allow us to enter their circle of acquaintances because they’ve got a hidden purpose to do so. These can be various reasons, such as building and strengthening one’s own position and self-confidence at the cost of others, surrounding themselves with people, who in their opinion, are weaker. Comparing themselves to weak individuals will make them more interesting people. Another reason may be taking advantage of a person, who isn’t able to say no, because he or she thinks that it’s inappropriate. Toxic people clip our wings, confirm our belief that we aren’t capable of anything and we’re not good enough for anything. They derive satisfaction from our failures, and for sure, won’t congratulate on our success honestly. If it ever happens that you’ve got such a person in your closest surroundings, you should immediately resign from such a relationship and finally breath freely again.
4.Say no to excuses.
If you’ve managed to deal with the problems discussed in the previous points, you’re halfway to success. But only halfway! Clear your mind and get rid off irrational, imaginary problems or obstacles, which get in the way of fulfilling your dreams, the ones which are truly important for you. Say no to your excuses, because if you don’t manage to do so, you’ll always find a reason to justify your passiveness and lack of engagement into matters, which are truly important for you. Matters, which for some reasons create a certain kind of obstacle, the ones you’re not able to overcome. Try to challenge yourself and get out of your comfort zone slowly. Don’t allow the excuses to defeat you, especially the ones which are just a creation of your vivid imagination or the effect of your life comfort, which doesn’t allow you to spread your wings.
5.Change your dreams into goals with a deadline.
Dreams are beautiful, providing that we aim to make them true. Otherwise they make us get stuck in our fantasies, which don’t have a chance to be fulfilled. We look into the future, which according to our believes must be brighter, but nothing changes for years. New dreams die a natural death and are replaced by new imaginary plans, whose future will probably look just the same like in case of other expectations. A good idea is to change your dreams into aims with a deadline. You should discipline yourself, and step by step, aim at changing your future for real.
People who gain success are not always much different from the ones who fail all the time. Of course, ignoring good education, our skills or qualifications. We cannot diminish other people’s achievements just to boost our self-confidence: ‘This girl has parents who introduced her into the business.’, ‘He can’t do anything well, but he’s lucky all his life.’, ‘She’s a totally average girl, I’ve got no idea how she has gained such a great success.’. Besides being well-prepared, people who keep expanding and getting good results have gone through all the above mentioned points. If they didn’t have to, because their lives were more favorable for them, they’re more self-confident and aware of their abilities, and in this way they fulfill the earlier set goals. And how would you like to gain your success?
See you around!
Photos by Park Street, ?? Janko Ferlič – @specialdaddy, Sharon McCutcheon, Dmitry Ratushny, Gregory Pappas, Julian Hochgesang on Unsplash
Comments: 10 replies added
I love your ideas! I try to never come up with excuses and I do avoid toxic relationships. I don't have time for those.
I need to start saying no more to excuses. I am the queen of excuses.
Oh gosh I love your ideas. I've been working hard to avoid toxic relationships and it's amazing what that can do for your life. Thanks so much for sharing this with us!
These are all perfect! It took me many years and a counselor to undo the damage done throughout my life but I'm okay now! And I have learned to embrace every one of those! Life is good!
Yes to all of this! My life has shaped me into what I am now which is both good and bad. It's taken me over 25 years to realise the abuse I suffered as a child, how it's changed me as a person and how I can (and need to) start taking control back for myself. Although success is a personal thing, I have been successful in my life in regards to graduating etc. But in my eyes nothing is more successful than the breakthroughs I am currently making in therapy.
I agree with all of these ideas, thank you for the great read.
You have some great ideas here. Finding excuses is definitely what I use to do.
Avoiding toxic relationships is the key. In friends and also relationships is so important to not get involved with.
These are all on point and absolutely helpful. Not giving up no matter what is a great key. This is inspirational.
These are all powerful things to do to be a master of your own success! A lot of these things on the list can block it like toxic relationships and constant excuses.